Self Love. It's something that's constantly spoken about. We should all partake in it, but that's easier said than done. Yet it shouldn't be.
A few weeks ago, I had a moment where I felt that I needed to tell the women I love that they are beautiful and should never forget it. I did it, but I was surprised at the responses. I got some back asking why I sent the message, whether the message was actually meant for them and some saying "no, not really". And it's that what truly shocked me. The stunning women in my life couldn't accept that someone was saying they were beautiful or needed a reason as to why they were being told.
Hearing that you're beautiful should be something that isn't odd or out of place, it should be natural and common. However I can understand why we feel uncomfortable with the statement, when the pressures of society makes us doubt whether our natural, God-given beauty is really what it is.
Some of the women I messaged were actually girls - my little brother's age - and I couldn't believe how they reacted to it. They were immediately comparing themselves to others, pointing out their flaws and wishing they were different. I can't tell you how much that hurt me because I've been there. I remember when I was 14 and thought every bad thing about myself because other people, boys especially, had said to my face that I was ugly or fat, or people said it behind my back and word got round. After that point, I wasn't able to look at myself in the mirror without doubting, sometimes breaking into tears because I thought I wasn't beautiful. This carried on until not too long ago. I could put on my favourite outfit and still feel like rubbish. I've even cried in front of my parents because I felt that I was never going to feel beautiful again.
I've struggled with it for so long, but I remember when I used to feel beautiful and confident when I was younger. That's a true credit to my Mum, who always reminds me, even when I was having the worst time during my teens. Yet when one person tells you you are beautiful and a few people are telling you you're not, who are you going to believe? As much as you try to take that one ounce of positivity, sometimes your mind gets the best of you.
The point is, I know what it felt like to not feel like you are beautiful, to have your flaws pointed out to you by people you thought were your friends - and in a public sphere (I'm talking Facebook comments). It's not fun, so when we live in a world were our lives are social media and what we see is an ideal of perfection, it's a lot harder to nurture self-love. But I want you to try.
Try. It really is not as hard as it seems. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it takes effort. But boy, is it worth it.
Take that time to point out the positives you see. What you think might be "flaws" are really not what you think they are. Don't belittle yourself. Find that confidence you know you have in you. The confidence you have when you're alone singing to your favourite songs or day dreaming about your life. That confidence that you hold in secret, let it shine through to the outside.
I'm going to direct you to one of my favourite posts about self-love, written by Audrey Leighton Rodgers, aka Frassy Audrey. She's become my new role model, both in content and just utter realness. Her post on self-love is literally a kick started for anyone who needs it and it helped me a lot. Please take a few minutes to read it because it's important that you grow your self-love. Read it here.
Outfit: Top, Dress & Earrings - Custom
I'll leave you with my recent thoughts that I shared with a friend: Love yourself first and be the best version of yourself. Don't live to please others, please yourself. Love your flaws, they are your and it's what makes you unique. If you don't love yourself, then how can you truly love others? The events in the past may have had their effect, but it's the way you let them shape you that makes you, you. It's about how you decide to live your life. So live it with confidence. Live it being beautiful, inside and out and believing it. It's your story, so write it.
Just give yourself a break, honey. You're beautiful and don't you ever forget it.
(P.s excuse the blurred images, I took these by myself. It was challenge.)
Lots of love,
Emily xx
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